Yesterday, Georgetown University hosted its first "Options Fair."
As there are no "jobs" to be had, they couldn't hold a "Job Fair," so instead it convened an "Options Fair."
Let's see, political science major? Your options are
1. move back in with your parents
2. buy a sturdy tent
3. live out of the car that your parents bought you (sturdy tent still a good idea)
4. law school
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
An Open Letter to Henry Louis Gates (Because His Harvard Email Has Been Disabled and It Wouldn't Go Through as a Closed Letter)
Professor Gates~
I know you're working on a documentary about racial profiling and I thought I'd relay my own experiences with this. I'm a PhD candidate at Georgetown and currently living with my 89-year old great aunt in Arlington, VA. If you're not familiar with the area, Arlington is one of those communities that never had any real need to be gentrified; it always appealed to upper-middle class families and young professionals.
I drive a 98 Cadillac SLS with darkly tinted windows that I bought used while working in Texas last summer. Earlier this summer, heading to the local park and going well under the speed limit, a cruiser pulls me over. Before the officers even get out of the car, two other cruisers arrive as back-up. The windows are darkly tinted, and they don't roll down, so when the officer finally approaches my car, I open the door. She stops. I poke my head out to attempt to explain why I'm opening the door. She looks at me, puzzled. "Is this your car?" she asks.
Now would be the time to tell you that I'm a 29-year old white kid from a suburb not entirely dissimilar to Arlington, VA.
After walking around my car, taking my registration back to the cruiser, and even enduring one "concerned citizen" of the neighborhood slowing down to inform them that "he's also missing a headlight," the officers finally give me a ticket for "unsafe windows" and let me go.
I thought this was just a case of hyper-active, bored cops in the suburbs, but last week, as I was driving the same car across Indiana, coming home from seeing my parents in Chicago, a dark Dodge Charger came tearing up behind me on I-70. Knowing full well it was a cop, I slowed down well below the speed limit (I hadn't been speeding in the first place because I'm aware that the car is a cop magnet). After tail-gating me for the better part of two miles, he pulled me over, came up to the passenger side, opened the door (which saved me the embarrassment of explaining about the windows) and told me that he smelled marijuana in my car. He said that to the one guy in America who has still never smoked pot in his life. He claimed that he pulled me over because I had merged back into the right lane after passing a semi without using my signal. He forcefully told me to keep my hands where I could see them (I had no idea I was even reaching for anything), took my information back to the car and ran my record. Twenty minutes later, he pulled me from the car, patted me down and put me in handcuffs while he searched the car. Deciding that there was nothing amiss with my golf clubs or the boutique coffee I bought on my trip, he let me on my way.
The best part of this story has been people's reactions. Like I said, I'm a white kid at Georgetown, so most of my friends, professors and acquaintances are white. They are horrified that I was handcuffed. They want me to write an angry letter to the Indiana State Police. Like this sort of thing doesn't happen to thousands of young black men daily. Like somehow I'm special. For most professors/grad students/members of my race/class, racial profiling is just an abstract that can be condoned from a safe distance. When it's done to someone they know, someone white, it's a cause for visceral anger, a letter-writing campaign that will end racial-profiling as we know it.
Good luck with your project. This country needs to expand its discussion on race because, as Milton Bradley says (the outfielder, not the puzzle corporation), "America doesn't believe in racism."
Thank-you,
Patrick Shapland
I know you're working on a documentary about racial profiling and I thought I'd relay my own experiences with this. I'm a PhD candidate at Georgetown and currently living with my 89-year old great aunt in Arlington, VA. If you're not familiar with the area, Arlington is one of those communities that never had any real need to be gentrified; it always appealed to upper-middle class families and young professionals.
I drive a 98 Cadillac SLS with darkly tinted windows that I bought used while working in Texas last summer. Earlier this summer, heading to the local park and going well under the speed limit, a cruiser pulls me over. Before the officers even get out of the car, two other cruisers arrive as back-up. The windows are darkly tinted, and they don't roll down, so when the officer finally approaches my car, I open the door. She stops. I poke my head out to attempt to explain why I'm opening the door. She looks at me, puzzled. "Is this your car?" she asks.
Now would be the time to tell you that I'm a 29-year old white kid from a suburb not entirely dissimilar to Arlington, VA.
After walking around my car, taking my registration back to the cruiser, and even enduring one "concerned citizen" of the neighborhood slowing down to inform them that "he's also missing a headlight," the officers finally give me a ticket for "unsafe windows" and let me go.
I thought this was just a case of hyper-active, bored cops in the suburbs, but last week, as I was driving the same car across Indiana, coming home from seeing my parents in Chicago, a dark Dodge Charger came tearing up behind me on I-70. Knowing full well it was a cop, I slowed down well below the speed limit (I hadn't been speeding in the first place because I'm aware that the car is a cop magnet). After tail-gating me for the better part of two miles, he pulled me over, came up to the passenger side, opened the door (which saved me the embarrassment of explaining about the windows) and told me that he smelled marijuana in my car. He said that to the one guy in America who has still never smoked pot in his life. He claimed that he pulled me over because I had merged back into the right lane after passing a semi without using my signal. He forcefully told me to keep my hands where I could see them (I had no idea I was even reaching for anything), took my information back to the car and ran my record. Twenty minutes later, he pulled me from the car, patted me down and put me in handcuffs while he searched the car. Deciding that there was nothing amiss with my golf clubs or the boutique coffee I bought on my trip, he let me on my way.
The best part of this story has been people's reactions. Like I said, I'm a white kid at Georgetown, so most of my friends, professors and acquaintances are white. They are horrified that I was handcuffed. They want me to write an angry letter to the Indiana State Police. Like this sort of thing doesn't happen to thousands of young black men daily. Like somehow I'm special. For most professors/grad students/members of my race/class, racial profiling is just an abstract that can be condoned from a safe distance. When it's done to someone they know, someone white, it's a cause for visceral anger, a letter-writing campaign that will end racial-profiling as we know it.
Good luck with your project. This country needs to expand its discussion on race because, as Milton Bradley says (the outfielder, not the puzzle corporation), "America doesn't believe in racism."
Thank-you,
Patrick Shapland
Friday, April 3, 2009
What a Dower
On the day when the government estimated that the economy shed another 663,000 jobs last month, the Dow went up 0.5% to end higher than 8,000 points for the first time since February.
The most widely accepted metric of the economy's health was positive on a day when it became public that more Americans were poor than in any period in my lifetime. If this particular disjoint between the Dow and the actual health of our economy does not make us question our the way we think about money, I don't know what will. The events of the past two years have shown that what is good for Wall St. investors is not necessarily what is good for the rest of us.
Our dependence on metrics like the Dow, the GDP and per capita income that only measure the wealth of the most successful is indicative of our greater economic malaise. We all seem to believe that we, too, can become obscenely wealthy if we play our cards right. We refuse to recognize the fact that the most obscene wealth was exposed as smoke and mirrors. The fact that Wall St considered today a good day is proof enough.
The most widely accepted metric of the economy's health was positive on a day when it became public that more Americans were poor than in any period in my lifetime. If this particular disjoint between the Dow and the actual health of our economy does not make us question our the way we think about money, I don't know what will. The events of the past two years have shown that what is good for Wall St. investors is not necessarily what is good for the rest of us.
Our dependence on metrics like the Dow, the GDP and per capita income that only measure the wealth of the most successful is indicative of our greater economic malaise. We all seem to believe that we, too, can become obscenely wealthy if we play our cards right. We refuse to recognize the fact that the most obscene wealth was exposed as smoke and mirrors. The fact that Wall St considered today a good day is proof enough.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Retention Pay!??
AIG is paying out $100 million dollars in bonuses and "retention pay" to executives in its financial products subsidiary. The company determined that it would open itself up to lawsuits if it did not fulfill its contracts to these executives and give them their previously agreed upon money.
I've got no problem with a company fulfilling its contracts. If anything, we ought to be questioning the government that handed over the $170 billion in bailout funds to a company knowing that over $100 million of that money would go directly to those most responsible for its collapse. That's probably the biggest oversight in all of this. But the second most egregious aspect of all this sordid affair is that AIG has the nerve to refer to these bonuses as "retention pay." As in, it's paying these funds to "retain" this talent.
Where the fuck are they going?!?
"Well, it says here on your resume you parked cars for a summer at your parent's country club when you were sixteen, went to Yale, then joined AIG's financial division and have worked there for the last fifteen years. That's exactly the kind of experience we're looking for here at Groton Country Club. $6.50 an hour plus tips."
I've got no problem with a company fulfilling its contracts. If anything, we ought to be questioning the government that handed over the $170 billion in bailout funds to a company knowing that over $100 million of that money would go directly to those most responsible for its collapse. That's probably the biggest oversight in all of this. But the second most egregious aspect of all this sordid affair is that AIG has the nerve to refer to these bonuses as "retention pay." As in, it's paying these funds to "retain" this talent.
Where the fuck are they going?!?
"Well, it says here on your resume you parked cars for a summer at your parent's country club when you were sixteen, went to Yale, then joined AIG's financial division and have worked there for the last fifteen years. That's exactly the kind of experience we're looking for here at Groton Country Club. $6.50 an hour plus tips."
Monday, March 9, 2009
Lifting Yourself Up
The NY Times reported that in light of the economic turmoil, many American investors are turning away from foreign investments and putting that money into American government bonds. The result of which is
lifting the value of the dollar and providing the Obama administration with a crucial infusion of financing as it directs trillions of dollars toward rescuing banks and stimulating the economy, enabling the government to pay for these efforts without lifting interest rates.
If this logic sounds vaguely circular, it's because it is. Like a lot of what one finds in financial news, there is a lot of analysis of short-term effects with little questioning of the long-term causes. This practice was endemic during the housing boom, when the financial press talked about sky-high dividends and vaulting real estate values, with little discussion as to what caused these effects. In that particular case, the wealth of the Bush years was not the result of a strong, productive economy creating a surplus of capital with which to invest combined with a growing middle-class population putting stress on limited housing supplies. No, it was smoke and mirrors, not that you'd hear the news describe it as such.
The current article in the Times has a similar disregard for deeper causes. According to it, autarky is the new black.
lifting the value of the dollar and providing the Obama administration with a crucial infusion of financing as it directs trillions of dollars toward rescuing banks and stimulating the economy, enabling the government to pay for these efforts without lifting interest rates.
If this logic sounds vaguely circular, it's because it is. Like a lot of what one finds in financial news, there is a lot of analysis of short-term effects with little questioning of the long-term causes. This practice was endemic during the housing boom, when the financial press talked about sky-high dividends and vaulting real estate values, with little discussion as to what caused these effects. In that particular case, the wealth of the Bush years was not the result of a strong, productive economy creating a surplus of capital with which to invest combined with a growing middle-class population putting stress on limited housing supplies. No, it was smoke and mirrors, not that you'd hear the news describe it as such.
The current article in the Times has a similar disregard for deeper causes. According to it, autarky is the new black.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Epstein Shmepstein
Michael Lewis' 2003 book Moneyball, about the Oakland A's front office is being turned into a movie. Starring Brad Pitt. As Billy Beane.
Yes, this is real.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210166/
Yes, this is real.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210166/
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Cheater Cheater
Much to our surprise, Tom Daschle's "I just plum forgot about that 128 grand in taxes" defense apparently did not have enough merit with Americans angry in the Second Gilded Age. But since Obama appears to be recruiting overt tax cheats to his cabinet, I have a suggestion for a new Secretary of the Interior. This guy:
Look at them. They already have the type of rapport that most colleagues could only dream about.
Look at them. They already have the type of rapport that most colleagues could only dream about.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Deep Breaths
As expected, Washington DC voted for Barack Obama by a final tally of 210,000 to 14,000, or, roughly, for every one person who voted for McCain in our nation's capital, 20 voted against him. Needless to say, when his victory was announced, a cry of joy was beheld from all corners of the city, and revelers poured forth onto the streets.
This morning, Washington DC was even more insufferable than usual. Try imaging a million people, all of them entirely too proud of themselves for making it out of whatever backwater they were born in (Santa Barbara, huh? Man, that is tough), especially proud of themselves. Obama's victory was proof of the city's wisdom. Finally, the ignorant rubes that fund our benevelonce in DC wised up enough to follow the lead of their betters.
Hey everybody, come see how smart we are!
As I've made clear, I am probably Obama's number one fan, for both personal reasons and intellectual ones. That being said, he is not the second coming of Jesus Christ. He might seem that way in comparison to some other, current administrations, but it is not the case. We've forgotten in the last eight years of incompetence how difficult it is to be an effective president. When an administration essentially screws up on everything, you forget that even the best presidents manage to screw up just short of everything.
There is no way that President Obama can be half as good as President Bush is bad. This isn't meant as a slight against Barack Obama, but there are limits to what a president can accomplish. Unfortunately, no such limit exists for what he can destroy.
This morning, Washington DC was even more insufferable than usual. Try imaging a million people, all of them entirely too proud of themselves for making it out of whatever backwater they were born in (Santa Barbara, huh? Man, that is tough), especially proud of themselves. Obama's victory was proof of the city's wisdom. Finally, the ignorant rubes that fund our benevelonce in DC wised up enough to follow the lead of their betters.
Hey everybody, come see how smart we are!
As I've made clear, I am probably Obama's number one fan, for both personal reasons and intellectual ones. That being said, he is not the second coming of Jesus Christ. He might seem that way in comparison to some other, current administrations, but it is not the case. We've forgotten in the last eight years of incompetence how difficult it is to be an effective president. When an administration essentially screws up on everything, you forget that even the best presidents manage to screw up just short of everything.
There is no way that President Obama can be half as good as President Bush is bad. This isn't meant as a slight against Barack Obama, but there are limits to what a president can accomplish. Unfortunately, no such limit exists for what he can destroy.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
I Voted Absentee!
And because I like sending things through the mail that no one will ever look at, I'm going to write a letter to Santa.
I hope Barack wins, but I'll be really upset if I don't get a shiny new dirt bike come December 25th.
I hope Barack wins, but I'll be really upset if I don't get a shiny new dirt bike come December 25th.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I'm a Terrorist!!
Sarah Palin just accused Barack Obama of pallin' around with another "radical professor," Rashid Khalidi. She accuses of Khalidi of being "a spokesman for the PLO." Never mind that there is no evidence to substantiate such a claim, he's a terrorist because, well, because Sarah Palin, who can't find the West Bank on a map, said so.
I met Rashid Khalidi earlier this year. He rejected my application to the PhD program at Columbia, and he couldn't have been nicer about it. Despite the fact that he had ten kids lined up outside his office, he gave me, a non-student, fifteen minutes of his time to tell me why he thought my idea sucked. Mind you, he never used the word "sucked," but that was the gist of his argument. He was polite, respectful and straightforward with me, some guy who wandered off the street and into his office.
In short, Rashid Khalidi is not the type of man to strap a bomb to someone's chest, nor even defend such an act. Sarah Palin, who brags of her ignorance, cannot, nor will not, differentiate between defending terrorism and understanding terrorism. As a history professor of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, Rashid Khalidi is paid (very well) to understand why both sides behave the way they do in the belief that understanding causes is the first step to ending conflicts. As nice as it would be to just build a twenty-foot wall around yourself, which the Israelis have tried (see photo at right), real, sustainable peace, in Israel or any other conflict zone, is built on understanding and compromise. Intimidation and preemption can only take you so far. Unfortunately, these are nuances Sarah Palin will not acknowledge.
Everyone relax. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
So, in recap, I went to school in Hawaii, Barack Obama went to school in Hawaii. I lived in Hyde Park, Barack Obama lived in Hyde Park. I met Rashid Khalidi, Barack Obama met Rashid Khalidi. Since all of these things are apparently terrorist activities, then I guess I'm a terrorist.
Addendum: Sarah Palin went to school in Hawaii, too. UH-Hilo and HPA, both of which are just schools for haole kids from the mainland who think it would be fun to go to school in Hawaii.
PS It is fun to go to school in Hawaii.
I met Rashid Khalidi earlier this year. He rejected my application to the PhD program at Columbia, and he couldn't have been nicer about it. Despite the fact that he had ten kids lined up outside his office, he gave me, a non-student, fifteen minutes of his time to tell me why he thought my idea sucked. Mind you, he never used the word "sucked," but that was the gist of his argument. He was polite, respectful and straightforward with me, some guy who wandered off the street and into his office.
In short, Rashid Khalidi is not the type of man to strap a bomb to someone's chest, nor even defend such an act. Sarah Palin, who brags of her ignorance, cannot, nor will not, differentiate between defending terrorism and understanding terrorism. As a history professor of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, Rashid Khalidi is paid (very well) to understand why both sides behave the way they do in the belief that understanding causes is the first step to ending conflicts. As nice as it would be to just build a twenty-foot wall around yourself, which the Israelis have tried (see photo at right), real, sustainable peace, in Israel or any other conflict zone, is built on understanding and compromise. Intimidation and preemption can only take you so far. Unfortunately, these are nuances Sarah Palin will not acknowledge.
Everyone relax. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
So, in recap, I went to school in Hawaii, Barack Obama went to school in Hawaii. I lived in Hyde Park, Barack Obama lived in Hyde Park. I met Rashid Khalidi, Barack Obama met Rashid Khalidi. Since all of these things are apparently terrorist activities, then I guess I'm a terrorist.
Addendum: Sarah Palin went to school in Hawaii, too. UH-Hilo and HPA, both of which are just schools for haole kids from the mainland who think it would be fun to go to school in Hawaii.
PS It is fun to go to school in Hawaii.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Washed Up?!?
Guest blogger Bill Ayers:
I'm pissed. Not because thanks to McCain and whatsherface my name is now synonymous with terror and only slightly removed from that of Osama bin Laden. After all, I've been an education professor, expert and community organizer for over twenty years. That sniveling punk Obama would be no one without me. No, I'm pissed that that old hack McCain and his new trophy wife keep calling me a "washed up" terrorist.
Once upon a time, me and my buddies struck fear into the hearts of millions. We blew shit up! Why? No one's entirely sure! Hell, we don't even know anymore, but we think it had something to do with peace. Anyway, it's not like that kind of skill just disappears after 10 years of exile or 20 more years of teaching. Terror is like riding a bike. A bike that explodes. And this woman... hell, she was still crawling when we brought the country to its knees. I'm not washed-up, and I'm certainly not horribly over-matched for the easiest job in the country, like some governors I could mention.
If I could get the old band back together, there's no telling what kind of hell we would raise. We'd drive around the Midwest, participating in zany schemes to convince my old comrades in arms to drop whatever it is they're currently doing, be it restaurant maitre D's, short order cooks or whatever it was that fat bearded guy did (I think he played the bass). The point is, we'd blow shit up again. Lots of it! And for peace!
The one with the pipe. He used to blow shit up like there was no tomorrow. I think he teaches ceramics in Sheboygan now.
So go ahead, call this education professor washed-up again. One more time. I dare you. 'Cuz you've just signed up for Political Science 101: Terror on the Streets. There is no required reading, but you are required to write a paper... in your own piss that's running down your leg.
I'm pissed. Not because thanks to McCain and whatsherface my name is now synonymous with terror and only slightly removed from that of Osama bin Laden. After all, I've been an education professor, expert and community organizer for over twenty years. That sniveling punk Obama would be no one without me. No, I'm pissed that that old hack McCain and his new trophy wife keep calling me a "washed up" terrorist.
Once upon a time, me and my buddies struck fear into the hearts of millions. We blew shit up! Why? No one's entirely sure! Hell, we don't even know anymore, but we think it had something to do with peace. Anyway, it's not like that kind of skill just disappears after 10 years of exile or 20 more years of teaching. Terror is like riding a bike. A bike that explodes. And this woman... hell, she was still crawling when we brought the country to its knees. I'm not washed-up, and I'm certainly not horribly over-matched for the easiest job in the country, like some governors I could mention.
If I could get the old band back together, there's no telling what kind of hell we would raise. We'd drive around the Midwest, participating in zany schemes to convince my old comrades in arms to drop whatever it is they're currently doing, be it restaurant maitre D's, short order cooks or whatever it was that fat bearded guy did (I think he played the bass). The point is, we'd blow shit up again. Lots of it! And for peace!
The one with the pipe. He used to blow shit up like there was no tomorrow. I think he teaches ceramics in Sheboygan now.
So go ahead, call this education professor washed-up again. One more time. I dare you. 'Cuz you've just signed up for Political Science 101: Terror on the Streets. There is no required reading, but you are required to write a paper... in your own piss that's running down your leg.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Columbus Day?!?
This morning, I did my normal commute of about 45 minutes to get to the Library of Congress. When I got there, I found the doors locked and a sign out front that said "Closed on Columbus Day." Same story when I went across town to go to work: closed on Columbus Day.
What year is it on the East Coast where people still venerate Columbus Day? I'm pretty sure by the time I was a 4th grader I was aware that Columbus Day was bullshit. "It's probably not the day that Columbus stumbled upon America looking for Asia, but it's a Monday and mommies and daddies need a three day weekend in October." Are we going to start inventing holidays for other non-accomplishments?
August 15th: the day we celebrate that guy who invented the telephone two hours after Alexander Graham Bell. Whatshisname. No, it's not his birthday. I guess it could be his birthday, we just picked this day randomly because we didn't have any three day weekends in August.
But it's not a total wash. On my way home from work, I was talking to the author of Cobra II, bitching about Columbus Day (he blames Italian-Americans, and considering that Italians are responsible for everything that's wrong with this country, I'm inclined to agree), when he suddenly yelled out, "Paul!" Paul Wolfowitz, looking harried, turns around, waves, and jumps into a cab. No security detail, just a busy-looking guy in a suit running late. Just like that. You would never have guessed that this man was the intellectual giant behind the Iraq war. Maybe a hundred years from now, our grandkids will celebrate Paul Wolfowitz Day...which will be... any Monday in March.
Wolfowitz works on Columbus Day... shouldn't all of us?
What year is it on the East Coast where people still venerate Columbus Day? I'm pretty sure by the time I was a 4th grader I was aware that Columbus Day was bullshit. "It's probably not the day that Columbus stumbled upon America looking for Asia, but it's a Monday and mommies and daddies need a three day weekend in October." Are we going to start inventing holidays for other non-accomplishments?
August 15th: the day we celebrate that guy who invented the telephone two hours after Alexander Graham Bell. Whatshisname. No, it's not his birthday. I guess it could be his birthday, we just picked this day randomly because we didn't have any three day weekends in August.
But it's not a total wash. On my way home from work, I was talking to the author of Cobra II, bitching about Columbus Day (he blames Italian-Americans, and considering that Italians are responsible for everything that's wrong with this country, I'm inclined to agree), when he suddenly yelled out, "Paul!" Paul Wolfowitz, looking harried, turns around, waves, and jumps into a cab. No security detail, just a busy-looking guy in a suit running late. Just like that. You would never have guessed that this man was the intellectual giant behind the Iraq war. Maybe a hundred years from now, our grandkids will celebrate Paul Wolfowitz Day...which will be... any Monday in March.
Wolfowitz works on Columbus Day... shouldn't all of us?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Troopergate
According to a new report, Governor Palin did as most of us expected: she abused her office to pursue a personal vendetta.
There's nothing new about this type of affair, and by the standards of the Bush Administration, this is small potatoes. She didn't break any laws, and no one died, much less 50,000 Iraqis.
The telling thing about the entire affair was the composition of the panel that issued the report: 10 Republicans and 4 Democrats. Ten members of her own party issued a report they knew would further hamper the GOP's slim chances of winning the presidency.
I'll be the first to admit that Governor Palin is grossly unprepared to be Vice-President; discussing her in the same breath as the Presidency would be the equivalent of Dane Cook joining Saturday Night Live. But something that even her most ardent critic cannot take away from her is her record vis-a-vis her anti-corruption campaign in Alaska. As governor, she passed an ethics-reform law that angered the state legislature, and, in doing so, angered the entire body of elected officials in her state.
And now, in the words of Jeremiah Wright, her chickens have come home to roost. If this report shows anything, it's that Alaskan legislators, Republican and Democrat alike, have a long memory. They have not forgotten that Governor Palin removed some of the fringe benefits that go along with being an elected official in the wealthiest state in the country. Troopergate was their chance to exact some revenge.
So while this report is going to be a boon to the Obama campaign, which I believe to be a positive, it might be a bust for ethics reform in the long run. Politicians with aspirations to higher office (i.e. all of them) might be a bit more hesitant in taking on corrupt local politics knowing it will come around to bite them in the ass in the future. The 10 Republicans that chastised Governor Palin in this report are proof that it doesn't pay to take on the establishment.
There's nothing new about this type of affair, and by the standards of the Bush Administration, this is small potatoes. She didn't break any laws, and no one died, much less 50,000 Iraqis.
The telling thing about the entire affair was the composition of the panel that issued the report: 10 Republicans and 4 Democrats. Ten members of her own party issued a report they knew would further hamper the GOP's slim chances of winning the presidency.
I'll be the first to admit that Governor Palin is grossly unprepared to be Vice-President; discussing her in the same breath as the Presidency would be the equivalent of Dane Cook joining Saturday Night Live. But something that even her most ardent critic cannot take away from her is her record vis-a-vis her anti-corruption campaign in Alaska. As governor, she passed an ethics-reform law that angered the state legislature, and, in doing so, angered the entire body of elected officials in her state.
And now, in the words of Jeremiah Wright, her chickens have come home to roost. If this report shows anything, it's that Alaskan legislators, Republican and Democrat alike, have a long memory. They have not forgotten that Governor Palin removed some of the fringe benefits that go along with being an elected official in the wealthiest state in the country. Troopergate was their chance to exact some revenge.
So while this report is going to be a boon to the Obama campaign, which I believe to be a positive, it might be a bust for ethics reform in the long run. Politicians with aspirations to higher office (i.e. all of them) might be a bit more hesitant in taking on corrupt local politics knowing it will come around to bite them in the ass in the future. The 10 Republicans that chastised Governor Palin in this report are proof that it doesn't pay to take on the establishment.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Not One of Us
"Not one of us" is the new "Lipstick." That is, the current line that Sarah Palin memorized and drops off at every chance she gets. As in, "Barack Obama is not one of us."
I can imagine her speech three weeks from now, when the McCain campaign is really in the tank. She's at an outdoor venue, thousands of peolpe cheering the early autumn afternoon.
Barack Obama is not one of us, with his good education, his leadership qualities, his "ideas" about how to "fix" things. How many of us have ideas to fix things? You're darn right I don't have any.
Barack Obama is not one of us, with his preparation for running the country. How many of us are prepared to run the country? Heck, I'm certainly not.
Barack Obama is not one of us, with his beautiful wife and happy family, all of them with black skin. How many of us have black skin? I look out here today and I see the real America, and none of us have black skin. You betcha I don't.
One of us! One of us! One of us!
I can imagine her speech three weeks from now, when the McCain campaign is really in the tank. She's at an outdoor venue, thousands of peolpe cheering the early autumn afternoon.
Barack Obama is not one of us, with his good education, his leadership qualities, his "ideas" about how to "fix" things. How many of us have ideas to fix things? You're darn right I don't have any.
Barack Obama is not one of us, with his preparation for running the country. How many of us are prepared to run the country? Heck, I'm certainly not.
Barack Obama is not one of us, with his beautiful wife and happy family, all of them with black skin. How many of us have black skin? I look out here today and I see the real America, and none of us have black skin. You betcha I don't.
One of us! One of us! One of us!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
2 Chevys, 4 Fords, 3 Dodges and a Caddy
The Washington Post printed an article today that profiled voters in the previously all-important swing state of Michigan. In discussing some of Obama's inroads in the state, it mentions one television commercial running in heavy rotation that portrays McCain as out of touch. The ad points out that McCain has 13 cars, 3 of which are foreign-made.
Which begs the question, who in the hell owns 10 American cars? "Well let's see, the first five Fords we bought all crapped out at 100,000 miles, so the next one can't be that bad." If you have the money to buy 13 cars, are ten of them really going to be American? I can't think of 10 different models of American cars I'd like to own, much less ten of the same one.
The nice thing about this ad is that Obama can start airing it in more affluent, staunchly Republican districts like Orange County, CA or Park City, UT. "John McCain claims he's prepared to take over the largest economy in the world. But John McCain owns 10 American cars... He spent close to $100,000 of his own money... on 10 American cars. What would he do with yours?"
The all-new Chevy Malibu.
By the way, if anyone's interested, I'm selling my 98 Cadillac Seville SLS. It needs a new tire rod, well maybe two tire rods, new front shocks, a new grill, a new headlight assemby, and new tires. Oh, and a tune-up. Also, the windows don't roll down. And don't drive it when it's hot out. (Also, it might be burning oil, but I think that smell is just coming from someone else's car.)
Which begs the question, who in the hell owns 10 American cars? "Well let's see, the first five Fords we bought all crapped out at 100,000 miles, so the next one can't be that bad." If you have the money to buy 13 cars, are ten of them really going to be American? I can't think of 10 different models of American cars I'd like to own, much less ten of the same one.
The nice thing about this ad is that Obama can start airing it in more affluent, staunchly Republican districts like Orange County, CA or Park City, UT. "John McCain claims he's prepared to take over the largest economy in the world. But John McCain owns 10 American cars... He spent close to $100,000 of his own money... on 10 American cars. What would he do with yours?"
The all-new Chevy Malibu.
By the way, if anyone's interested, I'm selling my 98 Cadillac Seville SLS. It needs a new tire rod, well maybe two tire rods, new front shocks, a new grill, a new headlight assemby, and new tires. Oh, and a tune-up. Also, the windows don't roll down. And don't drive it when it's hot out. (Also, it might be burning oil, but I think that smell is just coming from someone else's car.)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Israel Man-Child
Can politicians stop treating Israel as if it were a child? Gov Palin, who's having a good debate, by her standards, just said that we will never allow a second Holocaust. I picture 5 million Jews sitting on their couches in Israel saying to themselves, "You're Goddamned right there won't be another Holocaust."
Say what you will what Israel's human rights record, its counter-productive efforts at peace and its belligerence towards the US, but you cannot fault their readiness to fight. The United States is not currently protecting Israel from destruction at the hands of Arabs: the US is protecting Arabs from Israel.
Israel took the training-wheels off its defense policy a long time ago; it's about time American politicians acknowledge the fact that it is damn capable of defending itself.
Say what you will what Israel's human rights record, its counter-productive efforts at peace and its belligerence towards the US, but you cannot fault their readiness to fight. The United States is not currently protecting Israel from destruction at the hands of Arabs: the US is protecting Arabs from Israel.
Israel took the training-wheels off its defense policy a long time ago; it's about time American politicians acknowledge the fact that it is damn capable of defending itself.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Henry Ford Loved Talking Ty Cobb
The executive chairman of the Ford Motor Company told reporters that if he ran the Detroit Lions, he would fire GM Matt Millen.
While the economy tanks and Ford continues lay-offs caused by decisions made in company boardrooms, Bill Ford Jr is weighing in on the Detroit Lions. Of course, if you got JP Morgan talking about the Cincinnati Red Stockings, you might as well leave the room. I heard William Durant loved women's boxing; he sold GM just so he could start his own gym. Rockefeller? Rockefeller loved only money. But Andrew Carnegie and Leland Stanford attended cockfights daily. Well, really Carnegie was the cockfighting fan, Stanford just went because he didn't want to seem like a snob.
While the economy tanks and Ford continues lay-offs caused by decisions made in company boardrooms, Bill Ford Jr is weighing in on the Detroit Lions. Of course, if you got JP Morgan talking about the Cincinnati Red Stockings, you might as well leave the room. I heard William Durant loved women's boxing; he sold GM just so he could start his own gym. Rockefeller? Rockefeller loved only money. But Andrew Carnegie and Leland Stanford attended cockfights daily. Well, really Carnegie was the cockfighting fan, Stanford just went because he didn't want to seem like a snob.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Today, I am the Third Greatest in Towson, MD
In this year's inaugural Jessica Meredith Jacobsen Memorial 5k run (next year's inaugural run will suck), I finished third in my age bracket with a time of 22 minutes.
So while some of my older siblings might be winning professional triathlons in Tokyo, I'd say that it's pretty clear who the best athlete in the family is. Me. In third place.
So while some of my older siblings might be winning professional triathlons in Tokyo, I'd say that it's pretty clear who the best athlete in the family is. Me. In third place.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Matt Damon?!?
The most intelligent thing yet said about Sarah Palin comes from... Matt Damon?!? Yeah, he's a smart guy and all, but how did it come to the point where the most intelligent people in the media are actors?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anxkrm9uEJk&eurl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anxkrm9uEJk&eurl
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
So, Come Here Often?
So it turns out white women are as stupid as McCain gives them credit for. Before selecting the hopelessly under-qualified governor of Alaska as a running mate, John McCain was running, on the national level, 8 points behind Barack Obama in this demographic. Since the convention, according to ABC's poll, he is now leading Obama by 12 percentage points.
So essentially, 20% of white women are so, so stupid, they will vote for whomever looks like them. Sarah Palin's shortcomings as a national candidate are obvious, but it doesn't seem to phase every one in five white women. Swings like this over what's essentially bullshit make it increasingly difficult for the few of us left who have some faith in the American voter. When she was announced, I didn't think white women, who were clearly being pandered to, would swallow this tripe.
After all, white women seem pretty astute when I'm hitting on them in bars, so it stands to reason that they should be pretty astute elsewhere. Apparently I just need to look for that one in five girls that will fall for anything.
So essentially, 20% of white women are so, so stupid, they will vote for whomever looks like them. Sarah Palin's shortcomings as a national candidate are obvious, but it doesn't seem to phase every one in five white women. Swings like this over what's essentially bullshit make it increasingly difficult for the few of us left who have some faith in the American voter. When she was announced, I didn't think white women, who were clearly being pandered to, would swallow this tripe.
After all, white women seem pretty astute when I'm hitting on them in bars, so it stands to reason that they should be pretty astute elsewhere. Apparently I just need to look for that one in five girls that will fall for anything.
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